In this season finale episode, Sequoia Houston talks to Paul C. Brunson – A mentor, entrepreneur, TV host, globally recognized matchmaker, and a certified life coach.

They discuss the importance of interpersonal relationships and their impact on success, how to prioritize and what marriage looks like past, present and future.

We hope you've enjoyed Season 1 of Diversity Be Like!

Show Notes

About Our Guest


PAUL CARRICK BRUNSON
Polymath

Paul is a serial entrepreneur, television host, and columnist whose specialty lies in teaching others professional and social skills. An internationally recognized expert in interpersonal relationships, personal development, and entrepreneurship, he currently serves as a featured business columnist for USA Today, co-host of UK’s Celebs Go Dating, and Married at First Sight television shows, and host of the Better with Paul podcast and event series.

 

3 Key Points:

  1. Sequoia has always found herself to be the only people of color in a room. She talks about her concern that not many people talk about being different from other members in a room.
     
  2. While talking about work-life balance, Paul states that he never started 12 things at once. He stresses the importance of starting in one area, then once reaching a certain level of success in that area, start the next.
     
  3. Sequoia speaks from a black women’s perspective and shares her concerns about the fighting between a black man and black woman.

 

Episode Highlights:

  • Paul and his wife are successfully running several businesses for the past 15 years.
     
  • All of Paul and his wife’s business focus is on “Teaching.”
     
  • Paul discusses the importance of thinking. He urges the listeners to think about “What are the things that make us unique, and how can we use that to our advantage?”
     
  • When Paul launched the match-making business, he was the only person to do so. He never spent any time thinking about hurdles or roadblocks; instead looked for the gaps and improved upon it. 
     
  • 10 years ago, Paul switched his career to become a matchmaker. Everybody thought he was crazy. At that point, his sole focus was to become an exceptional matchmaker. 
     
  • When Paul looked at his skill set, he realized there are many things that he could not do. 
     
  • He emphasized the importance of improving bad or mediocre skills. 
     
  • Paul doesn’t believe in balance; instead, he believes in priorities and delegations. For him, family comes first before anything else. 
     
  • According to Paul, “You can always make decisions regardless of your circumstances.” 
     
  • Paul talks about a perpetuated myth that black women don’t get married. As per him, such a narrative is driven by institutional racism. 
     
  • If you look at the casting agency, they mostly recruit non-black people. 
     
  • Paul talks about the socio-economic category; it is the one category where the marriage rate has stayed excellent over the last 50 years. Every other category is persistently dropping. 
     
  • If you want to change anything empowering everyone in the community is extremely important. 
     
  • Many women create a profile and sit ideal, but Paul recommends not sitting ideal instead of going after unapologetically people who feel compelled to.
     
  • Paul talks about social capital in dating. Social Capital is defined as the value that you provide in your network. 
     
  • Sequoia and Paul talk about “When and how a person has a disastrous relationship.”
     
  • “How as people can we all get on the same page?” Sequoia raises an important question and ask Paul to share his thoughts.
     
  • Paul points out that - Every community in this world is at odd. 
     
  • Social media is a flawed medium to have a meaningful, methodical, and thoughtful conversation. The worst conversation that Paul ever had is in Social Media.
     
  • Sequoia asks Paul to share his views on older people who didn’t get married or have outlived their children. 
     
  • Paul talks about how the middle class is upgrading across the globe and soon, there will be only two classes left extremely rich and the poor.
     
  • Sequoia asks Paul to share his thoughts on “Is it true that white people are scared of losing their place, they feel like diversity is against them?”
     
  • Paul knows that life is short. Recalling Stephen Lawrence Day, Paul states that he is aware that a black man knows their life can be taken any day just because of their color.
     
  • Paul suggests, “As long as you are staying in the moment, getting astonished in the moment and then you are sharing it – Your life is great. He discusses the importance of having “WOW” moments in life.

 

Tweetable Quotes:

  • “Black people love too!” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     
  • “You were aware of the hurdles and challenges, but you chose not to focus there – this is a good thing.” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     
  • “Your focus should be to become world-class in what you do.” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     
  • “We need each other to survive, but if you extend it to the right people, you can thrive.” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     
  • “It is the constant system that is inapt and broken, this is point blank institutional racism.” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     
  • “We are in a situation where we want the same things, but we are constantly fighting with each other.” - Sequoia Houston
     
  • “Not having a will is a burden that someone else in the family has to take.” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     
  • “Inter-racial dating will not be a topic of discussion in future” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     
  • “The future in Black” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     
  • “You can make decisions based in favor of your values over monetary – It just simply means higher level of sacrifice.” - Paul Carrick Brunson
     

Resources Mentioned:

  • Paul Carrick Brunson: @paulcbrunson